What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
