Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
