Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
