It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
