I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
Randomize
