Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
