I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
