Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
Randomize
