Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
Randomize
