We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
