I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Soap is not a condiment
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
