Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
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