Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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