So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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