Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
did i walk over a car last night?
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
