Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
