I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Randomize
