I look better un-naked...
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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