with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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