But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
