Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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