If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize