Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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