I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
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