were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
