I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
