and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
