Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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