I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
