Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
so much tequila, so little girl.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize
