Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
Randomize
