he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
