The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
