Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
