If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
Randomize