Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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