I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
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