when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Sorry my hands just texted you
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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