So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize