It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
