I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
