Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
this will be a night to untag.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
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