So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Randomize