I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
