I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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