You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
