Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
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