There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
