we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Randomize
