the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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