I just pynch a tree in the face
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
