Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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