Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Randomize
