Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
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