She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
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