Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
