is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
