you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
From now on, just let me go home. I'm tired of hooking up with your roommates... Including you.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
