My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
