She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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