i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
