Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
