just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Randomize
