Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Randomize
