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my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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