do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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