The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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