We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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