If that was your dad, he is hot
He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Randomize
