Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
I party with great urgency now.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
I did not marry a roomba.
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