just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize