hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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