he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
Randomize
