And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
