Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
All I really need to know is how to say "where is the bathroom" and "I don't take it in the butt anymore". I think that will suffice.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
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