I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
