i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
