I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize