i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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