watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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