He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
